Hey Reader,

Welcome to your weekly Mezzo moment!

🔥 QUICK WIN OF THE WEEK

Action: The "What's Actually in My Control?" List

Time required: 10 minutes

Grab a piece of paper. Draw a line down the middle.

Left column: "In My Control"

• How I respond to stress
• Whether I ask for help
• What I eat (mostly)
• How I talk to myself
• Which battles I choose
• When I say no

Right column: "Not in My Control"

• My parent's diagnosis
• How fast things pile up on my "To Do" List
• Whether my siblings step up
• What insurance covers
• Other people's reactions
• The past

Your one action: Circle ONE thing in the left column to focus on this month. Just one. Write it on a sticky note where you'll see it daily.

Then look at the right column. Pick one thing you've been white-knuckling. Practice saying: "This isn't mine to control." You don't have to believe it yet. Just say it.

Why It Works:

A lot of caregiver anxiety comes from mentally carrying things you can't actually change— your parent's prognosis, your sibling's choices, outcomes you can't control. Separating what's yours to control from what you can't lets you focus your limited energy where it can actually make a difference, and practice releasing the rest.

It's a process. Trust the process.

Coming in January! Our podcast is finally here!! "In the Mezzo" is a podcast that explores topics and life, aging and caregiving we don't talk about but should. Sign Up Tune In

Deep Dive: Why Traditional Goal-Setting Fails Caregivers (And What Actually Works)

The Problem

Every January, the internet sells us the same story: set ambitious goals, build new habits, become a new person. The formula you're taught assumes your time is predictable, your energy is consistent, and you can plan six months ahead with confidence.

For caregivers? None of that holds.

Your calendar is a suggestion at best. A UTI, a fall, a forgotten and necessary doctor's appointment — any of these can torch your week without warning. Goals that require daily consistency become sources of shame when you inevitably miss a day, then a week, then abandon the whole thing and accept defeat by February.

This isn't a willpower problem. It's a mismatch between the advice and your actual life.

Why This Hits Millennials Differently

We grew up with the promise that hard work and good planning would result in our dreams being realized. We're the productivity generation — apps, systems, life hacks. We optimized our way through school and careers.

Then caregiving arrived and broke the formula.

You can't optimize your way out of your mom's dementia. You can't hack your dad's resistance to help. The skills that got you promoted don't translate when the variables are completely out of your control.

That's complicated. And it's why so many of us feel like we're failing at something we were never set up to succeed at.

What Actually Works

1. Intentions over goals. Goals are binary — you achieve them or you don't. Intentions are directional. They give you something to return to without the pass/fail pressure.

Instead of: "I will exercise four times a week." Try: "I will move my body when I can, and I won't punish myself when I can't."

Instead of: "I won't lose my temper with Mom." Try: "I'll practice patience, and forgive myself when I fall short."

2. Choose a word, not a list. Pick one word to guide your year. Something you want to embody when things get hard.

• Pace — Stop rushing. Move at a sustainable speed.
• Boundaries — Protect your energy without guilt.
• Enough — You are doing enough. You are enough.
• Ease — Keep asking: what would make this lighter?

When you're overwhelmed, ask yourself: "What would pace look like right now?" Let the word be your compass.

3. Plan in weeks, not months. Long-term planning creates anxiety when your life is unpredictable. Instead, ask yourself every Sunday: "What does this week actually require? What do I have capacity for?" Adjust weekly. Let go of the annual master plan.

4. Celebrate survival. Seriously. If "I got through this week without a breakdown" is the win, that's a legitimate win. Lower the bar until it becomes something you can actually clear. You can raise it later when things stabilize. Or not. Sustainable beats impressive every time.

Your Next Step

Write down your word for the year. Put it somewhere visible—bathroom mirror, phone wallpaper, car dashboard. You'll need the reminder in March when January's clarity feels far away.

🥗 WEEKLY MEAL PLAN (for you or your parents)

30-Minute Meals on a Budget: Batch Cooking Edition

One hour on Sunday. Five dinners handled. Here's how to actually make it happen.

The Sunday Prep (60 minutes, but saves you all week):

1. Roast a sheet pan of vegetables (25 min hands-off) Broccoli, sweet potatoes, bell peppers—whatever's on sale. Toss with olive oil, Complete Seasoning and pepper. 400°F for 30 minutes. Cost: ~$6
2. Cook a big pot of grains (20 min mostly hands-off) Rice, quinoa, or farro. Make enough for 4-5 meals. Cost: ~$2
3. Prep your protein Option A: Buy a rotisserie chicken ($7) and shred it. Option B: Bake chicken thighs with teriyaki sauce, honey, and pepper (25 min at 425°F). Option C: Cook a pound of ground turkey with taco seasoning. Cost: ~$7-14
4. Hard-boil eggs (12 min) One dozen. Instant protein for any meal. Cost: ~$6

Your Week:

Budget Total: ~$25-30 for 5 dinners (2 servings each)

Pro Tip: Freeze half the shredded chicken in a labeled bag. Future you will be grateful.

🌐 Need to talk?

Most families wait until there's an emergency to start planning, which often leads to rushed decisions and unnecessary stress. Nayberly helps you get ahead of the curve with a personalized care plan that addresses what matters most to your family. Book a consultation and walk away with concrete next steps—not just more worry.

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💬 A Final Thought

This year, you don't need to be better. You don't need to optimize. You don't need a vision board or a 5 AM routine.

You need rhythms that don't break you. Intentions you can return to when everything falls apart. A little more grace for the person in the mirror who's already doing hard things.

That's the goal. That's enough.

With gratitude and hope,

Amber Chapman Editorial Director, Mezzo

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